FOR COUPLES ONLY!! When Is It Too Soon To Have S3x?

Many women have asked me about when it might be "best" to have s3x with a guy for the first time. Does s3x on a first date send the wrong message? Will maintaining abstinence until marriage scare a guy away? Can you wait too long to have s3x? Can you have it "too soon?"

A Subjective Question

The problem with answering these questions is that all of them are highly subjective: deciding when to have sex entirely depends on the person and the circumstances. I am no "King of Coitus," decreeing when couples should or shouldn't have s3x. But sexually active individuals must understand that whenever they do choose to have s3x might have specific consequences on their relationship

An Argument For Postponing S3x

For example, having s3x on the first date will likely send a message to a partner that you're not looking for anything serious. That's not to say you shouldn't "live in the moment" and enjoy a frisky night of instant gratification now and then! But by jumping right into s3x, you're sacrificing much of the exciting build-up of a slow burning romance. Most daters are well attuned to this, and will take your disinterest in savoring any anticipation for s3x to signal that you're not especially concerned with the long term.
Additionally, holding off on intercourse can be one of the best ways to protect oneself. Emotions can run high during and after s3x, which releases many powerful hormones and has been biologically proven to trigger feelings of attachment. The experience can be especially intense for more inexperienced lovers. Waiting to have s3x until both parties are more certainly on the same page with regards to commitment can decrease the chance of someone getting hurt.

Chat With Friends & Make New Ones 100% Free & Safe - Download Now!

Finally, postponing s3x until after at least a few dates will increase the chances of things working out in the long run. It's certainly possible to have s3x on a fourth, second, or even first date and still transition into a healthy relationship. But if you give each other a bit of time to get to know one another, the physical intimacy will be more rewarding. S3x is best when it feels like a "special" activity shared between two people sharing an emotional connection.

When NOT to Postpone S3x

With all of that said, withholding s3x out of fear that a partner will run away once he "gets what he wants" may very well have an adverse effect. For example, some men have no problem waiting indefinitely for s3x -- but plenty of others may become frustrated or feel rejected by seemingly endless postponements. In such cases, communication is crucial so that neither party builds up any resentment. Partners must be open about their wishes, and might even try to reach some sort of compromise (whether time-based, or through alternative sexual acts).
I do believe that – barring any religious beliefs – there is absolutely nothing wrong with having sex long before marital engagement. In fact, I would encourage adult couples to have s3x within the first month or two of dating to truly test physical chemistry. Furthermore, having s3x and discussing it before and afterwards (ideally not in the middle of the act!) will allow a couple to reach a better understanding of each other. How partners communicate about sex (i.e. their ability to convey preferences, fetishes, and turn-offs to one another) is just as important as the act itself.

In Conclusion...

Ultimately, any decision involving your body should be a decision you make. There's no reason you should feel any shame in having s3x with someone the first day you meet that person, just as there is nothing wrong with waiting to do so until you are married. But the better you understand the correlations between time and sex, the richer all of your s3xual experiences will be.